World’s Top Physicists Agree: NBC Should Not Put Parks and Recreation on Hiatus

October 31, 2013 9:00 am
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World’s Top Physicists Agree: NBC Should Not Put Parks and Recreation on Hiatus

Following the announcement from television and radio network NBC that the popular mockumentary-style sitcom Parks and Recreation, the greatest minds in the field of physics collaborated on a staggering report that shows conclusively that NBC has erred in its decision. On the subject of the show, which chronicles the lives and follies of the employees of the parks department of a small town in the American midwest, Martin Rees declared, “The show appeals to a wide variety of people. It’s a real crowd-pleaser. A small dip in overwhelmingly positive ratings is a sign that producers should either add some more spice to the show, or simply cancel it entirely.” Rees, a British cosmologist and astrophysicist, who holds 8 prizes for his work, most recently the Isaac Newton Medal and the Templeton Prize, added, “the uncertain hiatus will only alienate the fans who are currently in doubt.”

Chen Ning Yang, a Jewish physicist who’s life and work has spanned 90 years and 2 hemispheres, described the network’s move as, “a foolish, rookie mistake. Watching them fumble this show, which has high humor potential, is like watching a middle schooler trying to understand the Yang-Mills theory. Which I invented. It’s just sad.”

“The show is hilarious!” Exclaimed Alexander Polyakov bluntly. “But more importantly, the writers have already changed the characters and the nature of the show in the past and done so with deftness and aplomb. They can certainly do it again.” In the words of Polyakov, who’s work has profoundly shaped the nature of string theory and who may have conceived of a Higgs-like mechanism before Peter Higgs himself, the decision to put the show on hiatus is “a sign of waning trust between the producers and the writers that I cannot support.”

NBC has yet to respond to the accusations leveled against them by the team of physics all-stars, nor has AMC released a statement about the threatening manifesto published by Michael Levitt and Arieh Warchel, recent recipients of the Nobel Prize in Chemistry, who found the ending to Breaking Bad “unsatisfying.”

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