Ask a Junior Who Still Hasn’t Found a Job for the Summer

April 1, 2013 12:00 pm
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Dear Junior Who Still Hasn’t Found a Job for the Summer,

Whenever I share my conservative views here at Stanford, I get attacked for them. I’ve learned to keep my opinions to myself but I don’t want to change who I am. How can I find a healthy balance?

Republican in Roble

Dear Republican,

That’s a tough struggle, but you know what? Integrity is over-rated. Does it really matter for you to be ‘you?’ If they want a liberal, be a liberal. If they want a republican, let your conservative flag fly. Hell, if they want a trained monkey to alphabetize lists of client names, you be the best damn trained monkey ever, it beats going back to that summer camp as an arts-and-crafts instructor for the fourth summer in a row.

Dear Junior Who Still Hasn’t Found a Job for the Summer,

Last quarter I began stress eating. I eat when I’m stressed and now that I’ve noticed I do this, I get stressed when I eat, and well, it’s a vicious cycle. How can I break out of it?

Stuffed in Serra

Dear Stuffed,

You eat when you’re stressed and get stressed when you eat, huh? That’s just like this damn job application process. You need experience to get a job and you have to get a job to have experience. Damn this Heller-esque nightmare, will dawn never break in my tortured soul?

Dear Junior Who Still Hasn’t Found a Job for the Summer ,

I dropped out of school months ago but haven’t told my parents yet. They think I’m on track to graduate, when I’ve actually been working at Freebirds on El Camino. It’s not glamorous but it pays the bills. How do I break the news?

Bumming in Branner

Dear Bumming,

How much do you make at your job? “Burrito Structural Design Manager” sounds sort of like engineering, doesn’t it? Are they hiring for this summer?

 

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