The Flipside Voters’ Guide

April 5, 2010 7:22 pm
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The Flipside Voters’ Guide

Here at the Flipside, we care about getting the truth from the candidates, so we did some detective work for you. We sent out a survey that asked the hard-hitting questions you really care about. You can see the endorsement survey here. After poring over the answers for days and days, we just couldn’t decide who to support because they all gave such good answers. That’s a personal decision only you can make for yourself.

What is the meaning of life?

No-Rain Campaign: To come, to see, to conquer.
Thom Scher: Life is like fierceness, you just gotta own it.
Stephanie Werner: If I knew, I’d be sure to tell you
Peacock/Bakke: Filling out endless endorsement questionnaires only to be rejected by all.
Kemper/Meisel: No meaning.
Cardona/Wharton: Word.

The ASSU wants to change its name, but keep its acronym. What is it going to be?

No-Rain Campaign: ASSholes United
Thom Scher: Why are you asking me questions about the Airport Shuttle of Stanford University? You should be asking about student government!
Stephanie Werner: Adventurous Students Seeking Unrest
Peacock/Bakke: All of the Sarcasm, Some of the Understanding
Kemper/Meisel: Associated Students of Stanford University
Cardona/Wharton: Always Sexy Stanford University

What are you going to do to stop the Grade Inflation Crisis of 2010?

No-Rain Campaign: Revert to the barter system.
Thom Scher: Thats easy, I don’t want to stop it.
Stephanie Werner: Grade inflation crisis? What grade inflation crisis? My 5.67 GPA is perfectly normal, thank you very much!
Peacock/Bakke: A reduction in the University grade interest rate.
Kemper/Meisel: Raise taxes
Cardona/Wharton: Destroy all PRS clickers.

You have one object to defeat your opponents. What is it?

No-Rain Campaign: A Q-tip
Thom Scher: The Flipside
Stephanie Werner: My 21+ status
Peacock/Bakke: Chuck Norris – it [kinda] worked for Mike Huckabee
Kemper/Meisel: Sledgehammer
Cardona/Wharton: Zoolander’s magnum.

Impress us with five words.

No-Rain Campaign: This haiku has one line
Thom Scher: I’m illiterate, but typed this.
Stephanie Werner: Really good cookies for free…
Peacock/Bakke: Peacock/Bakke – 340 pounds of experience
Kemper Meisel: Have you heard the one about the infinite primes?
Cardona/Wharton: Yo body too bootylicious, Flipside.

Boxers or Briefs?

No-Rain Campaign: Briefs
Thom Scher: Briefs
Stephanie Werner: Boxers
Peacock/Bakke: Boxers
Kemper/Meisel: Boxer Briefs
Cardona/Wharton: Briefs

Cake or Death?

No-Rain Campaign: Cake
Thom Scher: Cake
Stephanie Werner: Cake
Peacock/Bakke: Cake
Kemper/Meisel: Death
Cardona/Wharton:Death

If I win, I will be the first ____________ elected to my position.

No-Rain Campaign:anomaly
Thom Scher: openly gay student at a Pac-10 school
Stephanie Werner: blonde midget
Peacock/Bakke: ornamental fowl
Kemper/Meisel: man
Cardona/Wharton:wing-man

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