ASSU Matchmaker Pairs Entire Female Campus with David Gobaud

February 16, 2010 5:36 pm
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ASSU Matchmaker Pairs Entire Female Campus with David Gobaud

While organizers initially dubbed the premiere of the ASSU Matchmaker Service a success, reports of tampering have led students and administrators alike to question the effectiveness of the service.

By Valentine’s Day, it appeared that over two thousand individuals had registered for the free service. Students first began to suspect foul play, however, when several students’ “Top Three Compatibility Pairings” consisted of minor variations of the same individual. The consensus among students gathering in White Plaza was that everybody received a variation of David Gobaud, Monsieur Gobaud, or “Good ol’ Dave.”

Whispers of tampering increased when it became apparent that only female entrants, the majority of whom do not recollect signing up for the service with their SUID, received pairings. The majority of male entrants did not receive pairings, and instead received notification that they were “incompatible with every female at Stanford.”

Alarmed school administrators offered several public statements throughout the day to quell the restless student body. Student and Activities Leadership (SAL) director Clancy Chao stated, “Clearly the service was not legimitate, for even I received different versions of Mr. David Gobaud.” When asked why a forty-nine year old school administrator had signed up for a matchmaking service targeting college undergraduates, Chao declined to comment.

When Gobaud was approached about the incident, he said, “It was probably just a bug in the software.”

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