Vice Presidential Adult Film Helps McCain’s Ratings Within Niche Porn Demographic

October 25, 2008 10:01 pm
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Vice Presidential Adult Film Helps McCain’s Ratings Within Niche Porn Demographic

The San Jose Mercury News reported Friday that porn kingpin Larry Flynt is in the process of finishing the final touches to his latest porn video starring Palin look-alike Lisa Ann. The film titled “Nailin Paylin” is set to hit porn shops before the November election and is said to contain several scenes of the Vice Presidential candidate doing things that would make even Bill Clinton blush. Upon hearing the news, many online bloggers (porn-addicts) sent in suggestions for titles such as “Juneau you want it” and “Northern Exxxposure.” Reports from The New York Daily News say…

The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back door.” In another scene–a flashback– “young Palin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”

The film is supposedly centered around Paylin’s relationship with Joe Sixpack, your average run-of-the-mill American man. Paylin originally meets Joe after accidentally shooting him on a hunting expedition, something that is now expected of all republican vice presidents. Paylin, a republican, and Joe, a democrat, engage in bipartisan intercourse in a number of locations including the governor’s mansion, a hockey rink, and an abortion clinic. In the final scene Paylin finds out Joe has been taking Viagra and breaks up with him, leaving Joe with a 4-hour “boner to nowhere,” and balls bluer than the democratic national convention.

Many in the Obama camp fear that this movie will hurt his ratings amongst niche porn fanatics. Indeed the most recent Gallup poll of niche porn addicts saw Obama lose 3 points as a result of the announcement. Republicans are ecstatic, but pray that this video doesn’t put any ideas into McCain’s head. Of course, they are not afraid he will act on any sexual urges, as that is physically impossible, they just don’t want to unnecessarily raise his blood pressure.

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